Mind map 1.


like a cancer are




The sound

striking like a dagger is a


from the



like a meaningless poem is creating





is beginning to create a



emotions                                     The body

resorts to




This body of lust has

A lust for this sphere, for zeal, for you, for me, for all.

A lust for dissolution greater than death.




I am a


of myself.




Its a red skirt kind of thing.

Moments after the day that signifies 2012 is indeed a  leap year.

I am sitting on the floor surrounded by a countless number of meaningless objects that define my life in that sense that they pretty much encompass almost entirely all the things I own in life.

I look at the pair of shoes I oh so lovingly purchased the other day with so much love and excitement and at this moment though, they are just shoes. Just that. Shoes. It is all that they are. The feelings and moments of Euphoria that came along with them the moment I saw them in the store is seemingly alien like at this moment in life as I stare at them.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is unfortunate that the feelings I just described are pretty much exactly how I feel about almost entirely everything in my life at this moment. The chocolate chip cookie on the plate besides my empty previously filled with milk cup is still just that, a cookie. A meaningless commodity that is pleasant to the taste buds that I purchased from trader joes a few days ago. The red skirt I am wearing that seemed to excite me two days ago as I wore it to my midterm jury presentation is just that, a skirt.

And for this reason, I am starting this blog. I am officially dedicating my life to recording all my pre pms, post pms, sugar, caffeine and any other substance induced high moments of excitement about well pretty much objects, people, places, stuff and life in general.

Because when I do have these moments of meaningless apathy where everything seems so lifeless and empty, I can look back, read a little and relive the moments when I could see the little gems in the empty stuff that we are surrounded with in life, and have a reason to SMILE. I hope that you can take some amount of pleasure from watching me do this as well.

Comments are welcome although I pretty much do not care what anyone thinks or feels at this moment.

Good evening.

I found a little gem  somewhere in me along the way

I find a little gem in everything after that

and so I share these nothings

only so this little gem can shine brighter.

I write about feelings

I don’t tell stories

I feel so I can love better

and not to make you feel special

I see life through my own understanding

and not through the boring shit the world has already written out for me

Come, Lets take a walk

and talk about nothing.

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